I’ve attached my full personal statement applying to Msc in Entrepreneurship. It should be 2 pages, 12 points, double spaced. UK English format.

I got feedback that the middle section [in red] talks a bit too much about my professional experience, this is the part that I request some editing in. [1 page]

I would like to keep the information provided but change the style to story-telling in a more personal way rather than just listing my achievements/professional timeline. Maybe ask a question in the beginning about me taking risks or something similar.

I’m hoping that the panel would know some things about me personally after reading the statement:

1. Ive got a gritty attitude. I plan, follow, and execute my goals with dedication. This goes from the struggle with higher education, to launching TAYARY, to my yoga practice.

2. Constantly challenging myself with new things, I dont just settle. Always looking for self-improvement/self-investment.

3. Adventurous, stability doesnt excite me. Not afraid of change or failure. Comfortable with taking risks, even in my personal life.